[custom_adv] Hamid Shabkhiz is an actor and producer, known for Delusive Dreams (2005) and Banished (2007). [custom_adv] Whether or not you're actually there for the first smile or the first steps, make the most of whatever moments you do witness. Celebrate every milestone (big or small) and don't forget to record progress for posterity. Have a camera or a journal with you at every opportunity...and be sure to call the parents should an extra special event take place without them! [custom_adv] Be careful to treat your grandchild as your grandchild and not as your own child. Take a step back when necessary and relish the fact that you don't have to deal with them during the wee hours of the morning when they insist on screaming the house down. The best thing about taking care of your grandchild is that you can have all the fun and hand them back at the end of the day. [custom_adv] "How much advice should I give the new parents?" a gransnetter once asked. The answer came back: "somewhere between none and none." It's tempting to point out that those fashions in babycare that they're following with gritted teeth and fixed expressions are mostly fads, but don't do it. If they absolutely force you to give them advice, pretend it came from them. [custom_adv] It's good to be involved in your grandchild's life and to let the parents know that you're ready and willing to help out when needed. Whether it's cooking or cleaning in the first month or providing childcare a couple of days a week once the parents go back to work, another pair of hands could be invaluable. But always remember those boundaries, ask before stepping in, and don't be offended if the parents say no. [custom_adv] First-time grandparenting can be just as exciting as first-time parenting, but ensure that you stick to the rules laid out by the parents, even if you think you know better. Give them the chance to learn and develop as parents...and to make mistakes if necessary. [custom_adv] Tempting as it is to splash out on cute little babygros at the annoucement of a new arrival, it's probably worth checking whether the parents already have them (parents often receive hundreds of babygros in newborn size) and whether they really want their newborn infant dressed in the colours of your favourite football team. You may want to offer to buy some of the big items like a pushchair or a crib but speak to the parents before you decide on anything specific. [custom_adv] Beware of granimosity. It isn't worth it. Honest. Whilst it may be difficult to negotiate your relationship with the in-laws, i.e the 'other' grandparents (be it maternal or paternal), it's wise to build a strong sense of grandparent camaraderie. That includes step-grandparents too. Trust us when we say that it'll help you to assess your own role as a grandparent and ensure that there's no unwanted competition. [custom_adv] Yes, it's important to be an active grandparent, but make sure you don't run yourself into the ground in the process. Set limits for yourself, don't allow your life to be dictated by childcare or parental expectations and remember that you can also say no when necessary.